Learning to "Tink"

I love to knit, it is one of my favorite past times.   Perhaps it is the feel of the needles and the rhythmic pull of soft yarn between my fingers, and all the little motions that come with forming the fiber into fabric.

Or, the way it relaxes my mind and enables my thoughts, to daydream and peacefully free float.   It is soothing to my soul.

It didn't always used to be this way though, especially when I was first learning how to knit, or when I made a mistake.  In knitting when there is a mistake, there may be dozens of little loops that have to be accounted for and put back on the needle.

If you miss just one, it will unravel your fabric at the slightest tug and leave a big, noticeable, gaping hole.

Many a time, I have knitted along with tight shoulders, and rigid fingers, and holding my breath at a difficult part of the pattern.  Pleading the "Knitter's Prayer", (which goes something like this: "No! Please no! Oh please... please, please, please!) over and over again as my project helplessly unraveled.  If you are a knitter, you know exactly what I mean!

Then one day a lady at the yarn shop asked me if I had ever learned how to tink?  ("Tink" is "knit" spelled backwards).  

I had never heard the term before and was puzzled.  She said everyone she ever knew that excelled at knitting learned to look at their mistakes as an opportunity to "tink".  She explained that once I learned how to knit backwards, my mistakes would lose a great deal of their frustration.

Part of learning to tink, especially when it comes to knitting lace, involves remembering to weave in a "lifeline" as you go along, every ten rows or so.  A lifeline is a temporary thread inserted through a row of stitches.  It serves as a checkpoint holding the stitches in place if you need to rip out and redo several rows.

Learning to "tink" wasn't easy.

Then one day, I noticed a slipped stitch in a lace sock I was knitting, and instead of panicking and berating myself, I took a breath and began "tinking" backwards as I had practiced, until I reached the lost loop.  Before I knew it, I was happily moving forward again.  There was no catastrophe!

I have often thought of this experience when it comes to living with my chronic pain.  Coping with pain that never goes away, like tinking, takes a skill, which can only be learned through practice

There are days when my life is "knitting" along just fine.  The medicine is working the way it is suppose to, I'm pacing myself,  I'm in a good positive frame of mind, I'm up and about, and I am making progress.  Then, there is a setback, or sudden flare.

As time went on and I gained more experience and began to see the patterns in my own pain journey, I realized that I was not powerless in the face of these situations.  I could learn to "tink".  I learned to prepare for these inevitable times.  To have my tools ready and in place.  To give myself options and plenty of "Plan B's" for those days when I unexpectedly find myself in the middle of a flare.

I have discovered that sometimes the strongest and healthiest thing I could do for myself and my family is to just stop, and rest, so that I can move forward again.   I have also learned the importance of using all the good days, hours and moments to set my lifelines.

For me, my lifelines include my spirituality which is tied to my relationship with God and my desire to keep his words of encouragement in the Bible alive in my heart.  

Another one, involves trying to stay focused on the beauty and wonder of life.  Endeavoring to keep a bubble of positivity around my inner thoughts, while maintaining a simple life that I am able to maneuver through,  when the pain begins driving the bus.  

It also requires that I take the time on my good days to create happy memories and to find ways to nurture and show the love I have in my heart for my family and friends.

Creativity is also a powerful lifeline, along with making sure that I have enough time and energy to pursue the things I enjoy in a balanced way.  The qualities of humility and modesty have become my best friends as they help me to look at my limitations honestly.  This in turn, enables me to live the most active life possible.

I have found that looking at life in this way, saves me from constant discouragement. It's the knowledge that every setback does not need to always become a catastrophe, of dropped stitches. 

Lifelines help us to begin again, over and over with resilience. 

This little shift in my perception, has helped me to suffer less, even though my pain has become more intense through the years. 

What are some things that help you to "tink"?  To prepare for those flares and setbacks that life and health sometimes throw our way?  What lifelines do you set? What brings you joy?

Delisa